LADY'S YEARLY EXAM

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse started with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
"135," I said.

The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, "Your height?"
"5 foot 4," I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5' 2"

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I screamed, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.

BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife,
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it
would take a few inches off of your butt!

'His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such
a comment go unrewarded.The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his
drawer.

'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust'
cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'Cathy', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder
in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!

You guys just never learn, do not piss off the woman.